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OK. Whoreing myself out for a MFS trip. Talk about Whore on the shore

4K views 13 replies 8 participants last post by  slamkal 
#1 ·
OK so the reason for this request is twofold.

1) is I just spend $4K upgrading my gear and all I have to show for it is a phone in permit on the Rogue in May at crazyflow level.

2) my best rafting bud knocked up his wife and its probably gonna be the last time I can place "him" and "whitewater" in the same sentence at least until his kid is 3 years old and he's strapping her to the front of his boat as the figurehead.

so here's what I"m proposing. Me, my wife Danielle, Knockherup Dan, and our (practically worthless) Friend Keith come on your late June/Early July Middle Fork Salmon trip.

We will bring two 13' SB's and an 18' cat, all our cool gear (we have space for two of your worthless cargo, uh, I' mean non rowers) ... we got all sorts of cool toys, solar, yetis, camp showers, you name it ...

we will agree to get up a half hour earlier than everyone else in the group, break down our gear, and cook breakfast for your lameness every freakin am. We will also cook dinner (until you realize we cant' cook) every pm for the group.

we will only do occasional nudity or mooning shots but only as a defensive manuever to other groups that dare to float by our group while someone is busy using the groover.

Here's what we want from you:

1) MFS permit you need 6 of you or less in your group so the 10 of us can spend seven wonderful nights on this river.
2) you need to have a sense of humor, laid back attitude, etc. (no bipolar river freaks)
3) you need a permit late June/Early July that aligns with the stars moon and sky for the four of us to attend.

what we offer:

beside above we are overly entertaining, will haul your crap (hey talkin to you Kakayer dude with the loose bowl and tight attitude).

Please PM me so I can consider you among the over 1500 people I'm expecting to respond ...

PS We are fun people and love to party but we are not river crazies or nazis. I'm expecting somehow prior to your float that we meet for a shorter float to learn that you are also not crazies or nazies.

Regards,

Lou, Danielle, Dan, and Keith
 
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#3 ·
2) you need to have a sense of humor, laid back attitude, etc. (no bipolar river freaks)
I WAS going to recommend you for a trip, until you got to the bipolar thing. Don't you know EVERY awesome river person has one mental illness, major maladjustment, crazed personality problem or another? We're all a bunch of freaks. Sheesh, way to rule yourself out Mr normal. :shock:
 
#6 ·
Ok. You can be bipolar, however you must provide proof of enough medicine at boundary creek for at least 14 days in case we need you to "double up"

Or for that matter if you got some really good meds you can share so that we won't notice your disorder. Even better if we dont notice that we are waking up early to cook your food
 
#7 ·
Bayou said:
Was this a copy/paste from craigslist?
Copied from craigslist Nah ( although ive been accused of being the guy behind "emails from an asshole"

This is all me baby typos and all. Someone left a few too many brews in the fridge last night.

Theres a damn good reason the group always sends me one day ahead to scout the river for them -- leave signs of visible carnage if theres anything dangerous. Mission F'in Accomplished

You think river running can be rewarding, Friend me and said useless friend keith on Facebook and you'll experience a whole new world of pain

But I only accept friend requests from permit holders --- got enough freaks from high school who for some reason want to be my friend. I guess when your last name is Branson.
 
#8 ·
WTF? Only four responses, none offering permits?

Ok upping the ante. If it's nice warm weather, my 34-DD beautiful Zumba instructing wife has been known to streak through camp

You don't want to be the last ones to sign up for this trip!
 
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