Go Back   Mountain Buzz > Whitewater Boating > Whitewater Kayaking

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-06-2006   #21
Steamboat, Colorado!
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 149
Hey darlin' do you know where you are going? (Yeah dumbass) Cause if you don't I can take over (I hate Iowa)

Why are there people tubing next to us? (Cause it is Poudre low water)

At what elevation do deer turn into Elk? (I have no idea, really did you just ask that)

Which one of those guys are your boyfriend (That dumb looking one)

Is little Timmy gonna be ok? (Is Timmy going to stay in, are you going to paddle) Wait, wait let me get out the velcro

Why is that raft upside down in the rapids? (Rookies or its "the move" at this level)
Im going to miss all those damn customers!!!

jen84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2006   #22
knappco's Avatar
steamboat, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 35
BSW upper colorado Guest

Guest; "what are all those crosses on the side of the river?"

Guide; "telephone poles"

No joke!

Guest; "what are those orange balls on the power lines crossing the river for?"

Guide; “There are two different species of squirrels on each side of the river and those balls keep the two squirrels from crossbreeding and hurting the ecosystem.”

knappco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2006   #23
Westminster, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1999
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 524
The deer into elk comment reminded me of when I was hiking for a living instead of boating. We got that question all the time. Or my favorite from that era: I was at the alpine visitor center on trail ridge road and heard someone say that they had just seen a manatee.
asleep.at.the.oars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2006   #24
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 76
custy: When the tide goes out do the rapids get smaller?
"any man who would trade freedom for security, deserves neither freedom nor security" Thomas Jefferson
teamamericawp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2006   #25
rhm's Avatar
steamboat springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 93
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 199
Q: how deep is the water here?

A: it goes all the way to the bottom.

one day i was guiding on a commercial trip. one of my friends, a local video boater, came paddling his kayak up behind my raft. he said hello and i asked him "are you playing or are you working?" i did not think it was that strange of a question. however, my crew of tourons thought that it was very strange that you couldn't tell by looking whether someone was playing or working. some of our questions are as funny to them as theirs are to us.

correct me if i am wrong,i haven't actually been there, but someone told me that the reason that some people think that they are going to take out where they put in is because of the "loop" section of the lower yough in pennsylvania. people do self guided rafts on a short section of river that literally loops around and comes back very near the put in.
rhm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2006   #26
GoodTimes's Avatar
Eagle, Idaho
Paddling Since: '78
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 794
Midwestern family (Indiana if I remember correctly): "what is that crazy high-pitch noise the "deer" make?"
Me: "well, that's actually when the deer are turning into Elk.....it's pretty painful".

I couldn't resist. I'd heard stories of similar questions in my guiding career, but just couldn't believe them UNTIL IT HAPPENED. I was poised. I ended up hearing many of the others that are posted on this thread as well. It's classic when someone asks a REALLY dumb question like that and realizes before the question is even finished how stupid it sounds!
GoodTimes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2006   #27
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1
When I guided in North Carolina and Tennessee I got the same questions, but there were a couple I didn't see on this thread. "There are rocks sticking up, don't they have enough water?" And my favorite. "Are you going to blow up that raft all by yourself?" Well, I'm going to use a pump.
swaney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2006   #28
gunnison, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1998
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 390
Q: Where are you're feet?
A: I don't know.
Q: Where did you get that boat?
A: I traded my feet for it.
&d is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2006   #29
student wasted state, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 200
Send a message via AIM to vaultman14
"so what happens when you flip over?"
you know sometimes i wish i would have chosen something like baseball but, i didn't and i'm a kayaker so this is what i do." -Nick Turner (Wehyakin)
vaultman14 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2006   #30
salida, Colorado
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 283
I was guiding the gorge(Ark) one day and a guy had brought a dry bag with him, I just thought he had water, sunscreen etc.... Right before sunshine he digs into it and starts to pull out a fishing rod... At what elevation do deer turn into elk???

I also had rock climbing clients ask me how often we painted the rocks(in Garden of the Gods...

psu96 is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Topic Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What You wish you could say but probably wont.... benrodda Whitewater Kayaking 0 09-05-2006 12:16 AM
South Canyon WONT be in Tomorrow! Jiberish Whitewater Kayaking 1 06-28-2006 09:51 AM

» Classified Ads
2016 Dagger Axiom 9.0 (LG)

posted by atom

2016 Dagger Axiom 9.0 Used a handful of times. Great...

Fred the Fuse 48

posted by kayaklifeislife

My first boat the Wavesport Fuse 48 I'm just putting it on...

Pyranha Burn 3 Small R/G/W

posted by Rendezvous River Sports


Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2012 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:52 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.