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Yes, training owls to snatch baggies is common practice where I grew up in Appalachia. Their keen eyesight in low light environments and stealthy flight make them ideal for plucking that q oz hanging half out of a careless hippy's pocket. The really good ones even use their uber hearing to pick up the crinkle of the cellophane.
Loyal animals, they usually bring the bag right back to their handler in exchange for a small reward...a morsel of some kind of meat, cooked or raw, a live mouse, etc. Some people, though, started to use a little bud out of the bag as the reward. Eventually, owls trained this way figured out that it was better to lift baggies for themselves and just devour the contents. This owl in particular got off easy being trained only to snatch the gunj. All too often, much as mj is the "gateway" for humans, these owls start to use harder shit and this practice, tragically, leads to addiction in many owls. I've seen owls strung out on everything from crack to meth which of course ultimately causes interspecies violence between human and owl junkies. You might think with their razor sharp talons and beak that a crackhead would be no match for a jonesin' owl. But you mustn't underestimate the resolve of a hobo when his rock is at stake.
This, sadly, has led to many owl casualties. These poor creatures must be taken in from the wild and rehabilitated, but I need your help to do it. That's why I'm asking for your donation. Send personal check or money order to:
Save the Drug Owls
c/o BastrdSonOfElvis
PO Box 420
Colo. Springs, CO 80915
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I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot. -Jack Handy
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