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Old 10-03-2005   #31
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 81
You came to Colorado with a bad ass attitude, thats gonna score you some friends or the location of the m-wave. You are a tipical jarhead , you give marines a bad name. You should be practing kayaking instea dof running your mouth maybe you will get good at boating then.

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Old 10-03-2005   #32
paddlebizzle's Avatar
Local, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 344
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I can kill someone with my hands 187 different ways. I grabbed him by the jaw and smashed him into the wall, ended up dislocating the jaw completely. Then I picked him up and slammed him over my knee and tossed him up into the ceiling fan. He was still breathing even though he was shredded into three pieces, so I finished him off with the black mamba death grip, it's a pressure point on your neck, makes you have a stroke.
Newsflash: you need to get laid. Weirdo.

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Old 10-04-2005   #33
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the fort, Colorado
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 140
i hope you get the vibe that ur not welcom here
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Old 10-04-2005   #34
Front Range, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 274
Guys, I seriously think this IHB fella is a class-A troll who's decided his idea of a good time is signing up here and spouting off with a bunch of stereotypical hard-ass BS..... And what he's trying to do is play everyone's sympathies and open-mindedness: what better way to get a bunch of more open-minded and inclusive folks riled up than by showing up on some outdoorsy website and spouting off with a bunch of xenophobic, hyper-aggressive, unapologetically racist and testosterone-laden CRAP????

I mean, I'll give you this, IHB... half of it was kinda entertaining at first. But I'm not buying into the fact you're actually enlicted or commissioned in any branch of the armed forces-- I mean, c'mon.... you're one letter off, but "Sgt. SCadenko"?? Isn't that one letter away from Sgt. STADENKO, of Cheech & Chong fame??
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Old 10-04-2005   #35
Weapons Specialist
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 62
Ya'll, I don't care how much I dislike someone, I'd never leave someone pinned in the river, even some stank-ass hippie. Granted, I am pretty different than what you folks are used too, growing up in the south and all. My pops raised me to be a killer. When we had a cow that needed to be put down on our farm, he used to make me go out there with a shovel and beat it sensless. I didn't enjoy it at first, but I realized I was really good at it, and it kinda grew on me, killin' things and all. If you guys want to learn how to be a bad-ass like myself, come on down to the recruiting station and let me sign you up fo a 4 year tour. We'll make men out of you, as hard as that may seem.
Don't get high, Semper Fi
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Old 10-04-2005   #36
ski/kayak bum
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 460
beating a cow to death with a shovel doesn't sound effective or efficient and the Marines don't tend to put "good at it" "killers" into recruiting stations......maybe you need to be "made into a man"....
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Old 10-04-2005   #37
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 51
boulder hater dude. obviously you need to blow off some steam. lets take it to the river. How about Gore? We could go this weekend? I will meet you at the take out, 7am, if you are into military you might like earlier, just let me know. Just follow my line. I will make a man out of you, pee wee.
there are plenty of cows we could beat down on the way into the canyon too. we would have to use our paddles, but I am sure you could show me how it is done.
I love boating with cool people
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Old 10-04-2005   #38
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 18
I'm with paddlebizzle, except I think the post should read, "Newsflash: You need to get laid by another Marine... stay the hell away from women. Weirdo."

Plus, I don't buy it. I think dickhead's just a bored loser trying rile people up. No one who's actually grown up on a farm or in a rural setting would beat a cow to death with a shovel. All red necks have guns and like to use them, the cow would be shot.
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Old 10-04-2005   #39
Front Range, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 274
Who would've thought I'd ever live to see the day I started agreeing with Hammer , but on this one, he's absolutely right .... no one in agriculture, not even us backwoods rednecks in the deep south, kills a cow with a shovel!

I've heard my grandfather talk about "stunning" cows with a hammer or mallet back in his youth (before modern slaughter techniques started being implemented, I guess ), but the story always ends the same from there-- and it always looks alot more like Hammer's ending than IHB's.
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Old 10-04-2005   #40
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C. Springs, Colorado
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,443
I shot a cow with a potato gun once. Knocked it off it's feet. Didn't kill it, but it sure pissed it off. Damn thing chased me back to my truck before I could get another shot off.

I don't believe a word of this killing a cow with a shovel BS. Sorry dude, without video you'll be hard pressed getting us Coloradians to believe that pile of dung.

Now pass that joint so we can all go boating. We all know your holding out on us, ya flaming hippy!!!!! You just want to bogart the whole dam thing yourself. I've got your number. I've been around marines before. You ain't foolin none of us with your silly stories, bubba beaner breath.

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