Schlitz and Turkey Legs
Me and my boy Griff were floating down Upper C the other day and noticed the River Pimp and his lady in trouble. We heard a whistle and screams from a tuber at Yarmony. We threw Griffs throw bag at them but when they tried to grab on their hands slipped. This may be due to the fact that Griff ties a turkey leg to the throw bag in case the boater is blind and this way they will be able to locate the throw bag.
When the River Pimps bitch grabbed onto the throw bag she got mightily pissed because it got turkey grease on her whistle. We offered to wash her whisltle with warm Schlitz but she rudely declined. She then told us that the Sheriff would be waiting at the take out since we "tried to kill her" with a greased throw bag.
The river pimps girl is now down in Denver lobbying the State Senate for a Good Samaritin Law on all Colorado rivers.