Originally Posted by Cipherion
I can't do an off side roll to save my life
That sounds like an answer to your question right there...
Have a friend move your paddle for you for a few times. Think about what you are doing. For an on-side C to C you are moving your right blade out while leaving the left on the hull of your boat. The offside is the same motion just reversing the arm you are moving.
Think about the mechanics of it and have a friend help. Try to learn to roll in any way possible.