New Year Resolutions I Can't Keep

[farp]

No more beer after a day on the river.

I promise to 303 my neck gasket after every use.

I will value the life of every human over my paddle.

I will not continue the vain search for a girlfriend who boats as much as I do.

I'll spend more time with my non-paddling friends during runoff.

I will never refer to tourists as "tourons" "gapers" or "sh*thooks again".

No more groover jokes.

I will wash the funk out of my polypro and chacos.

I won't get angry when I'm hitching a shuttle in my paddling gear and the tourists look at me like I'm Ted Bundy.

I won't glance through the Paddler Magazine to look at the pictures for the 1000th time this winter.

No more paddle porn.

I will never use the term "epic feature" again.

[gh]

Funny, thanks for the humor.
Yep, you know its bad when your dog won't even get near your chacos. I must have that Ted Bundy thing going as well. I have had boaters drive right by me, hmm, they must know me.....