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Old 08-21-2008   #1
boof512's Avatar
Teacher, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 307
Lotsawater is getting deported!!!!

Well “The man” has finally cought up with Lotsawater and he is getting deported to a small ocean side village in Ecuador. The reasons are unclear as to why he is getting deported, but I herd it had something to do with money laundering, a donkey, and hit man.. that’s all I know.. the point is that Lotsa is leaving and that makes me sad..
I am not sure if they have running water, let along internet where Lotsa is going so I thought we could take this chance to tell him how much we will miss his antics both on and off the Buzz.
I will start off by sharing one of my favorite stories of Lotsa and his boating skills..
So there we were sitting on top of Tunnel rapid during the gore race in playboats. We all felt pretty good but lotsa must have felt better because he calls out “I am going to swim this one”. I was perplexed, but figured I should go first to help pick up the aftermath. Now I am sitting in the eddy below tunnel wondering just how Lotsa expects to “swim this rapid” when all of the sudden my question is answered! The dude threw his paddle in the middle of a wave wheel while going over Tunnel!!! I mean who does that??
So the beat down that ensued was comical, but the best part is that Lotsa hand rolled out of the dam thing (some may say that he just got lucky, but I would like to believe differently)
Lotsa has touched more lives then Michael Jackson has had sleep overs and I hope that the buzz can give him a good send off to Ecuador by sharing our favorite stories of Lotsa!

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Old 08-21-2008   #2
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 118
Wow...say it aint so! Just remember, Lotsa, you can run, but you can't hide. Hasta luego, amigo
P.S. I do know a good lawyer
Scott G

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Old 08-21-2008   #3
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,302
We're rolling into the Big South at a juicy (800ish) flow this year and I'm admiring the wave trains in the flatwater above the rapids when I look over at lotsa. Stern faced he looks at me and does the catholic prayer thing where you touch your forehead, chest and shoulders. Hilarious. So glad that goofy gringo is moving to Ecuador so that we have a local goofy gringo to travel with. He'll be missed.
Kyle McCutchen
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Old 08-21-2008   #4
God Amongst Men
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Phuoc My, Da Nang, THE 'NAM
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,988
i remember this one time when I was giving some respect to another boater where it was due, and since i wasnt bowing down and worshipping the fort collins crew (as should be properly done), lotsa came unglued and told me to "take cody's balls out of my mouth". i guess thats the correct response when you show people props.

have fun in ecuador. regardless of how big of a dong bag you are to me, i still wish you the best and wish you a simple and easy move down there!
"Don't f$&@ing eddy out, just run it! Whaddya doin??" -LMyers
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Old 08-21-2008   #5
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So this one time we were standing at the top of Double Trouble scouting together. I was like, "fukit, i'm walking." Lotsa says to me, "Keck you're going." I had already made up my mind to walk, so I went back up to the top to get my boat. At the top without changing my mind about walking, somehow I ended up floating in the eddy by myself. Damn it Pete. Crap, I guess I'm going.... It was the first time that I've ever styled that drop at a solid flow. Soooooo good. Thanks buddy.

Oh, I should mention that after landing, I pointed back up at him to scream "your turn!" Lotsa promptly received a solid beating sans boat.... After regrouping on river left, he grabbed his boat and paddle, ferried to the right, portaged back up and stomped that shit. Undoubtedly one of my favorite people to paddle with.
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Old 08-21-2008   #6
Spits Hot Fire
N. Cascades, Washington
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 978
Shiiit, I aint heard nothing bout the man catching up to lotsa. Sounds to me like you got off easy. Playa you aint done no Hawd time in the LCDC like Jesse and I have. I guess you dont wanna fuck with lotsa when he wants a gyro latenight. Though that sounded like a great story over the weekend, my favorite tale is Fat chics on Westwater. Somethin about the way that man tells the story...he has a genuine hatred of portly females on rivers.

Good luck down thar buddy. I really hope to be seeing you down there at some point. In the meantime I'll help the body take care of your house.
Your opinion doesn't matter when you're already biased.
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Old 08-21-2008   #7
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Teacher, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 307

while your story is touching I must call a lie a lie.. Lotsa does not scout. Period.

And the second thing Lotsa has never done is "received a solid beating". Any time you have herd or seen him temporarily leaving his river craft of choice it was a choice he made so that he could better enjoy the river environment, and in no was a loss of control resulting in a swim.
Just thought I would clear up some inaccuracies I noticed in your post.
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Old 08-21-2008   #8
Mad Scientist/Creeker
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 803
Big South, May 2008 High Water descent w/ Ben Stookesberry, Jesse Coombs, Leif Force, Lotsa and myself. Snow is still overhead in places and is waist deep on the banks. It's early season and the flow is juicy enough that everybody is portaging in places, including Stookesberry and Coombs.

We're doing a tricky portage around Cool World with all the snow as Leif is setting up to stomp it. Lotsa and Coombs are shouldering side by side when I shit you not Lotsa says, and I quote "National Geographic my ass..." Classico. We'll miss you bro, in the river and on the portage path for sure. No doubt you'll still be lurking on the buzz however with a least a few tricks up your sleeve. One in particular that I am foaming at the mouth with anticipation for.

Evan Stafford
Cub boater: "What do the spiders mean?" Old fart boater: "Trust your intuition." CRCII
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Old 08-21-2008   #9
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 748
he taught me to raft, sold me my first kayak, and took me on my first kayaking trip where I swam multiple times down bridges. He can come across as a dick but he has always been cool on the river. Here's hoping some drunk Ecuadorean you've pissed of doesn't shoot you.
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Old 08-21-2008   #10
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Bham, Washington
Paddling Since: 1997
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 463
Oh so many lotsaswims memories, its hard to choose just one.

I think one of my favorite memories was detailed Pete's Class Five Lessons within the New Testament but it goes something like this...

Petey and I were up at the Gnarrows late in the season doing some afterwork laps and on the third of fourth lap of lowers he looks at me in the putin eddy and says "if you follow close I''ll show you the lines", i shit you not, as he peels out.

After wating a little I pull out and run the always schaweet boof entrance line only to see Petey about to go upside down in front of the undercut boulder that forms the cave eddy below the entrance. He tries a few rolls attempts to no avail as he is pinned against the undercut and eventually swims through middle lowers while I chase is gear. Priceless...

The high side of good - Daniel D
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