Bonker, you're doing it all wrong. Your first few posts need to be on threads of which you have no clue what's going on, then post some ridiculous, preferably angry, opinion based entirely on your perception of kayaking taken from the Amex commercial:
Then we call you names, make it appear that we're all a total bunch of protectionist assholes (we are, of course, but once you become one then it's cool), and try our best to represent ourselves as complete douchenozzles. Throughout all of this, you'll be able to pickup a great many terms by context. Before you know it, you're slamming some n00b (or, you think he's a n00b when he's really the VP of sales for a kayak company) over an illformed opinion on a kayaking video or a product review. In reality, those n00bs are necessary because, while most of us likely share the opinion that the idiot in the video should be doing a sport with a silent k, like knitting, we can't because then we'd have to question our own stupid antics, and that's just not cool man.
WTF is wrong with you? n00b.