Look, if you take a swim you are endangering yourself and those who may have to rescue you. You need to manup or girlup and take your penalty for said endangerment. This will appease those you endangered and discourage you from repeating your offense in the future.
If you're too much of a wuss to drink a beer after a paddle, then have a nice diet coke or nehi grape and at least give the gesture.
If you're still a wuss and won't drink from the booty...then your paddling buddies must find a suitably embarassing substitute. I would head down to the nearest megalomart and pick up some nice pink boots. Preferably something like Hello Kitty or Dora the Explorer would be suitable. I'd clean 'em up nice and keep them hermetically sealed until your inevitable washout. I'd even consider some latex gloves for you to wear so that you don't get any germs on or near your wussiness.