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Old 06-08-2005   #11
erdvm1's Avatar
Lyons, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1998
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This will be easy.......Come to my office and I have some dog poop you can eat. Guaranteed to produce the worst case of Giardia on this earth.

Go Dawgs!!!
Happiness is a way of travel not a destination
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Old 06-08-2005   #12
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Local, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2003
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1. Give your boss the finger and quit your job. You shouldn't have to result to this in the first place. You could also just not show up for 1-2 weeks and let them fire you. Then you can collect unemployment and kayak every day!

But if you must. . .

You're a kayaker. Tell him you got a concussion while running a Tunnel Falls in a ducky, and you need 7-10 days of bedrest. If the man asks for a doc's note, go to your physician and fake all the symptoms or pass a $50.00

The ear thing works too. Remember - you're a kayaker and you get all sorts of nasty stuff in your ears.

Don't you remember grade school? Fake the shiat and get out of class!

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Old 06-08-2005   #13
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 305
and you won't be sick for just 2 weeks it took me over a month to get over but I did lose 35 lbs. Felt like a wwe wrestler jumping up and down on my stomach.
Don't do anything, just stand there.
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Old 06-08-2005   #14
Join Date: May 2004
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Good responses, thanks. But, I've heard tha Carbondale town water had giardia a few years back. Any other locations like that I can tap? Like should I fill up some water bottles from Cottonwood Creek? or somewhere in South park?

And perhaps giardia isn't what I want. What I had last year was perfect. I had occaisional diareha for 2 weeks, lost 10 pounds, and then Cipro cleared it right up.

As for why I don't quit employment--that's part of the complicated legal situation. I'm under a tight contract. The company has fashist lawyers, that created this contract yet I really like the people I work with. In a few weeks, I'll be in a good negotiating position where I think I can screw the company lawyers. They really, really suck.
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Old 06-08-2005   #15
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 13
This thread sounds like the screenplay to the sequel to the movie Office Space.

Good Luck on acquiring something nasty enough to keep you out of commission for two weeks!
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Old 06-08-2005   #16
Evergreen, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1991
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 316
I got it a few years ago.

I had a fantasy of wipping my ass with a fluffy white rabbit. I have never been so tired in my life either.

I read a ton of people on here talking about Karma and all. Most people only talk about it on the back side of something that has already happened. They dont think about karma before they are going to do something dishonest or selfish they think about it only when people piss them off.

I like the other verson better. You reep what you sow.

All that being said I am not in your shoes so my comments maybe totally worthless.

hang in there,
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Old 06-08-2005   #17
Boulder, Colorado
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 122
I've been laughing my ass off through this whole thread!!!!

I have some friends that got giardia among other water borne illnesses when we studied abroad in Brazil. We were seriously worried about their lives. It was horrible for all of them, all 5 were in the hospital in the middle of the Amazon for several days. A scary ghetto hospital with dirt on the floor and smears of blood on the walls. One girl got so weak from the fever and diarrhea that she could barely walk for 2 weeks. It was horrible. For reference, they got diagnosed with Giardia, amoebas, and 2 parasites that I forgot the name of. If only the cooks had figured out when we asked to drink only bottled water that this meant we wanted them to wash our food in the bottled water as well.....

I highly recommend avoiding giardia. Really.

Fake the ear infection. It would totally be believable I think, and ear infections can be excruciating and keep you out of work for at least a week.

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Old 06-08-2005   #18
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 163
Try a walk in woods:
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Old 06-09-2005   #19
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Lick your toilet bowl, that should give you something that justifies 2 weeks of sick leave.
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Old 06-09-2005   #20
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Laramie, Wyoming
Paddling Since: 1992
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Skunk Cabbage, I was in steamboat and this stupid hippy we were with thought he had read that skunk cabbage was edible. Long story short he ended up in the hospital.

Burning and swelling of lips, tongue, and throat; nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may also occur.

Nonsoluble calcium oxalate crystals are found in plant stems, roots, and leaves. The stalk of the Dieffenbachia plant produces the most severe reactions. These needlelike crystals produce pain and edema when they contact lips, tongue, oral mucosa, conjunctiva, or skin. Edema primarily is due to direct trauma from the needlelike crystals and, to a lesser extent, by other plant toxins (eg, bradykinins, enzymes).

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