Q: How deep is it here?
A: Chest high on a duck, all day.
Q (with strong southern accent): What happens if the boat falls off of the tracks?
A: The pirates of the Carribean jump out of the bushes and slit your throat.
Q: How long have you been doing this?
A: (Look at watch. . .) About 25 minutes.
Q: What happens if the kayaker tips over?
A: He's done. There's no way to roll one of those things.
Q: Do you ever get groups who ask you so many questions you just want to kill them?
A: Nope, they make me want to flip them.
Q: I bet we're the worst paddlers you've ever had, huh?
A: Not by a long shot.