His wife said NO MORE CLASS V
Every kayaker goes through something called "The Annual" This is a fight/brawl/argument/seperation that occurs with your significant other when the snow starts melting, and the rivers start running. Why? Because they are about to become "Kayak Widows" not that we actually die, but we are a bit dead to them. In a women's mind: "He likes sleeping in the dirt, with a bunch of dudes in the stupid forest....BETTER than my boobs". If you've kayaked long enough and have a women, you know what I'm talking about. Some annuals are short, some are violent, some are frequent. Basically they vary from year to year. My friend just had his and it is one of the worst I've ever heard. He will remain nameless to protect his pride.
His wife banned him from boating class V. Can you believe that shit, the nerve of females these days. Ok, the guy is getting old, I think he's like 33 now. Definitely going bald, and does have a kid. But come on lady, class V is the only thing the guy has left to make him cool. Without that he is just another Real Estate agent in Fort Collins named JJ. Lame! So Lame!
I would get divorced over something like that personally, (Maija, if you read this I'm not kidding).
Not to mention the guy is a great boater, I did see him get chundered in Ginger with a mustache, but that's besides the point.
Right now he is a good guy, drives a truck. Take away class V and he's going to sell the truck and by a Mini Cooper because his "play boat" fits, and he'll will probably start hanging out with that loser Joe Keck. Is that what you want lady? I don't think so!
Did any of you other "older" boaters have the class V kibosh put on by your lady? How common is this epidemic?
Gentleman be strong, when you feel THE ANNUAL coming, just go boating before she can actually start arguing about it. RUN. It is imperative that you have your gear on ready alert, potentially hidden in the trucks of your friends. I've found it works the best if my friends are already waiting at my house to go boating before I get home. Strength in numbers, and "most" women won't scream or cry in public, too much.
Here's a couple researched and tested techniques to help you out.
When you come home this Friday and telling your woman that your going out to Escalante this weekend, has slipped yer mind.. be strong. Tell her that your friend is terminally ill in Grand Junction and you are going to a fundraiser at the local church, for the weekend. If that doesn't work go to the only place where you know she won't bother you, go and take a dump. Call your friends who already have your gear, and have them do a drive by. Sneak out the window and send her a text, it works every time.
Good Luck and Be Safe Out There!
hey diddle diddle...