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Old 04-17-2008   #21
TimWalker's Avatar
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1992
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 205
For The Married Men

The simple but not free solution is to buy her off. For less than $100 per month, you could purchase enough term life insurance, with tripple accidental death coverage to put her mind at ease. But, be careful, she may start urging you to run the gnar and she will probably be sleeping with her own dirt "bag" soon.

Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
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Old 04-17-2008   #22
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 79
I invested in a nice camera for my future wife so that she might get excited to go on boating trips because she loves photography. And shuttle bunny+ personal Photographer+ Hot costa rican = top quality wifey material ontop of all the other reasons I love her (of course), but i dont think there's any way around the "now you're living for two" speech regarding class V.

When I was a teenager I used to tell my mom i wasn't running anything crazy to keep her mind at ease. Then when she saw the pictures of me running big drops she was past the worrying stage and onto the showing me off to friends and family stage. Unfortunately, I want my fiance to be the one taking those pics so there will always be the worrying stage. Maybe when I'm older and wiser, like 33 or so, i'll have this issue dialed.

btw, I just heard Pizzuti has already been out boatin this year. That gives me great hope, and i'm stoked for him.

Seriously Dude!
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Old 04-17-2008   #23
GAtoCSU's Avatar
Eagle, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1994
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 696
I'm not married...though I will be in 58 days...

I stopped running stupid class 5 a long time ago. Getting seriously injured, or dying, isn't as attractive as it once was. While I consider myself a very conservative class 5 boater, I will occasionally run Double trouble "type" drops when I go boating. If I decide to do so, I do it with the best safety that I can rally up and I do it on a day that I feel I can make the like 99/100 times.

JJ, I've never seen you run shit that you shouldn't have and I consider you one of the conservative boaters of this paddling click in Fort Collins. Your girl should understand that running Big South, and more importantly the "big 2" might not even happen.

Portage the sketchy rapids and have fun in the boogie. With my ~10 big south days I've run Double trouble once, Cool World never, and everything else on that run. Why? Can I not make them? I think I can...But I don't care to.

Simple enough.

Lets go boating.
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Old 04-17-2008   #24
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Knife Fork of the Spoon Paddling Since: 1984
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 365
Thats why strippers rule
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Old 04-17-2008   #25
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 51
If you have the appropriately sized overthruster for your cockpit none of this should even be an issue.........
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Old 04-17-2008   #26
TakemetotheRiver's Avatar
Durango, Colorado
Paddling Since: 05
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,477
To respond to a few things:

Some girls love hanging out around the campfire drinking beer and telling jokes that are in poor taste.

RW is right- weigh your love of paddling Class V with your love of your wife and children.

Several others are right- opposites only attract for a little while-find someone who loves it like you do.

And finally if that doesn't work- encourage her to get a hobby of her own, then she'll want you to leave so she can pursue that. It worked for me- oh wait, no it didn't, he left.
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Old 04-17-2008   #27
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185 lb. waste of space, Keeping Glenwood Springs real
Paddling Since: 1864
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 917
Dude, WR's advice is no longer valid. Not only is he married but with a youngin on the way the only boatin he is going to be doing is with a rubber ducky in the toddler bath.

Here's the thing, yes I live a lonely life surrounded by countless one night stands that leave me feeling hollow in the morning and make me wonder if I am ever going to find the right one. So no I don't know what marriage is like, but my RIGHT one would never ask me to stop doing the only thing I love as much and flame me for saying it, but more than women. I am not talking about asking me to quit boating, but running the gnar.

Seriously what is next? Will your wife ask you to stop driving your car? We all know the number games and there is a million things you do everyday that your sig other never thinks about bitching about but are way more deadly, such as the copious amounts of Ice Cream that you all will be buying me, the Dan Issel burgers that are so good after a day on the Narrows, and all the damn booze that flows at 350cfs.

My mom would be sad if I died kayaking, but I bet she would be happier spreading my ashes on the Poudre than spreading them on I-25 near 120th
970-217-21 six six
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Old 04-17-2008   #28
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 157
Interesting decision Peter, I will deal with you later. But make no mistake that I will be running the gnarrows race this year and you will be behind me, so donít get your hopes up.

This is a true topic and discussion with the wife, which is apparently now a buzz discussion and some good discussion thus far. This is a complex issue, which is what has become the evolution of my class V boating lifestyle, which is now a decade old and 1/3 of my YOUNG life. This years Ďannualí hit a little bit of a deeper chord as the Wrangler pointed out.

I must say some of this is my fault, but most of it is Peterís (lotsawater).

I am sure most of you saw the recent AW featuring Kids and whitewater. I thought, sweet; check it out honey, good articles on kids and how they like whitewater, cool right! Little did I know that this segment also featured last yearís deaths and incidents in the back. There were obviously some horrible accidents reports. Now a cool conversation went bad. However, I somewhat got through that by pointing out that I am very careful and always making sound decisions and have a stellar crew.

Then she recalls Lotsaís (one of my new school, sickster, rad, boating partners) '5 lessons' in the new guide book, riddled with bad decisions and lack of skillz. Damn it Peter. When I was boating with much more experienced paddlers more frequently she was at ease, knowing that I was in good hands with solid guys. Now, some douche bag who thinks itís cool to swim, likes being in underwater caves and encourages me to Blue Angel all of the Big South has inserted himself into my class V scene. (i.e. liability).

Anyway, the most important thing for me to point out here, is that I full heartedly stand by my woman and family, they do come before paddling, work and friends, no questions asked. We have worked through this situation and my paddling decisions will be mine as they should be. And as Ken V. pointed out, which is my wifeís biggest point is that she wants us to recreate on the river together as a family, so we do stay together and so my kids share an important passion with me. (Maija, sorry you married a deadbeat, sorry ass excuse for a husband).

Now, Lotsawater,
By posting this you have disrespected my family and my hustle and required me to spend 15 minutes responding to you. If you ever decide to post something about my personal life again, (I donít care about the hair comments), I will come over to your house and pimp slap you with your woman and two dogs watching. I mean seriously, didnít you learn to never bite the hand that feeds you.

PS. I hope everyone has a stellar and safe boating season. SYOTR.
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Old 04-17-2008   #29
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Knife Fork of the Spoon Paddling Since: 1984
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Posts: 365
Mail order Brides from Russia w/ love.... no problems there
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Old 04-17-2008   #30
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 393
Last season I came home from an after-work Eldo lap and my wife asked how Harmon went. When I told her I had walked it she called me a little bitch and made me sleep on the couch. Apparently she's only attracted to my sick boating skillz.


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