Marty. . . Marty . . . Marty, you shouldn't have done that. I hope you realize what you've started. I was going to let you of the hook easy, now the gloves are off old timer.
Question: Are you not employed by a kayaking company? How would EJ like your current post on the buzz. Callin' out someone that is not as skilled as you are and posting a picture on a public forum. That is great PR for your company, I'm sure your making someone proud. You are so sick!
I'm sorry I haven't been boating as long as you have, your boof is so awsome that I could never aspire to be as skilled of a paddler as you are. Maybe you and the rest of the Jackson boys could host a lesson for me and the rest of my crew. Your reputation proceeds you my friend, you are hands down the best paddler in Colorado and everybody should bow down to the skills of Marty. . . . . and then. I woke up from this nightmare.
You are a chode, you know it, I know it, and the peeps know it. Your skills are weak and your lack of cooth does not impress me. Everytime I turn around I hear another story of the "Jackson Rep" Getting Phuqin HANDED. You would think that it would be on high flow or something else gnarly. Nope, bear creek--low water--swim. Source--low water--swim. Trip to WA, the word that comes to mind is Liability. It is a trend with you my friend. You are too old, give it up. You are going to hurt your good hip.
Additional thought: Marty, that little CRAB insignia, is that a warning to all the ladies? Associating yourself with CRABS could probably be more thought out. What are you trying to say to the youth? Jump in a boat and get CRABS? That is not very responsible.
For the record, as to not let one old person spred propiganda about my incredible reputation. In that picture, it was my second lap on double trouble, of course I didn't have the best line, some old lady came out of the forrrest and seduced me. My sexual prowess was put to the test. Now I will not name any names for fear of keeping the reputation of one of the sweetest pieces I've ever had. I will tell you this however, she had the most beautiful set of "chicklets" I have ever seen. Anyway after a romp in the woods with, "You know who" I came back for my second lap on double trouble exausted, was a little too far right, Pitoned and rolled above the lip of the next drop. I then proceeded to surf myself OUT of the hole and in doing so my hips fell out of the boat and I was only held in by my skirt, could not roll, and swam in the EDDY. I am not saying that that is an excuse for swimming, I shouldn't have been such a pussy and just portaged the drop like Marty. Instead I went up an ran it a third time and stompped that shit, while Marty was off in the woods burning ants with the excitment of a school kid, off the reflection of his bald ass head.
Anyways you are proabably fast asleep having a nightmare about having to step it up on Brown's Canyon. When you wake up however you will still be Bald, over-the-hill, kidding himself, and everyone around him Marty.
BOTHKHAEAHM for short.
Have a nice weekend. I'm going to give you a public wedgee the next time I see you or maybe I'll wait until Gore and make sure there's a crowd.
Ding Ding Ding. . . Let's GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!!!!
hey diddle diddle...