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Old 12-13-2005   #11
Andy H.'s Avatar
Wheat Ridge, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1995
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,909
OK Dave, here's one for you...

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalog!

Nothing in the world is more yielding and gentle than water. Yet it has no equal for conquering the resistant and tough. The flexible can overcome the unbending; the soft can overcome the hard. - Lao Tse
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Old 12-13-2005   #12
El Flaco's Avatar
Golden, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1984
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,879
Co Bao: "Why did they pick you? Because you like to fight?"
Rambo: "I'm expendable."
Co Bao: "Expendable, what mean expendable? "
Rambo: "It's like someone invites you to a party and you don't show up. It doesn't really matter."

"You not 'spendable, Rambo!"

-From touching moment with Vietnamese girlfriend in Rambo II

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Old 12-13-2005   #13
WhiteLightning's Avatar
Eagle County, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2002
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 928
A woman went into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband’s funeral. She told the director that she wanted her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asked, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?”
“No,” she insisted as she handed him a check to buy a dark blue suit. “It must be blue.”

When she came back for the wake, she saw her husband in the coffin, and he was wearing a beautiful blue suit. She told the director how much she loved the suit and asked how much it cost.

He said, “Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her, so I switched the heads.”
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Old 10-04-2007   #14
TakemetotheRiver's Avatar
Durango, Colorado
Paddling Since: 05
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,477
Diplomatically announce at each campsite that the expendable person must be the DND (designated non-drinker) due to the high possibility of flash floods (even in December). This way, they don't waste the beer since we know they're going to swim anyway and don't want them to blame it on being drunk.

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