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Old 05-22-2008   #111
caverdan's Avatar
C. Springs, Colorado
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,443
How the hell did she change her user name back?????

GH.......I ain't buying it.

The OP is still Withdrawn 1............but shes baaaaaaaaack!!!

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Old 05-22-2008   #112
niwot, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1978
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by Withdrawn 1 View Post
Howdy folks & I'm lucky I'm actually here to tell my story.

Yesterday (Monday 5.19) I set off what was to be a 2-day float trip down the Gunny River through Escalante Canyon to take out at Whitewater east of Grand Jct. First off, I waited in the hot sun by myself for 2 1/2 hours for the boat party (a total of 4 of us; a couple on a huge beat-up, patched gray boat held together with about a dozen plastic ties hold the zippers together. The other party was on a one-person yellow pontoon fishing oar raft). I was to follow along in my gray eskimo kayak. I have lots of raft miles under my belt and have enough kayak skills to do certain trips but I do know that my roll is not as consistant as it should be. However, knowing that the river is running wicked high with funny water, I was under the understanding that it was pretty flat with no whitewater to be concerned with. I also assumed that my friends (the ones on the raft - "Griff" and his girlfriend) have LOTS of raft experience and supposedly stress the safety issue and to be sober while on the river, itself (which they were if you can believe that).

After waiting several hours, we finally took off around 3pm. About 2 miles down the river, we encountered some (to me) unexpected rapids which were quite sketchy. I stuck close to Griff's boat who were upstream from my approximately 50 to 100 FEET (NOT YARDS). I went over a large wave (a rock I later found out that 2 canoeists last year wrapped a boat and broke it; apparently, it's still there). I didn't make my roll and exited the boat, holding onto the hand-hold at the nose of my boat with one hand and paddle in the other. Luckily, I put a whistle on my life jacket which ultimately saved me.

I was screaming, "HELP, HELP, HELP" and blew the whistle. Griff had a trolling motor on the boat where his girlfriend was sitting right next to. Griff was at the oars. Neither did absolutely NOTHING to even ATTEMPT a rescue. I was hoping that they were just frantically oar over to me so I could grab onto their boat to get to shore so I could collect my bearings and move on. He didn't even attempt to communicate to his GF to start up that motor to come get me. Yes, they saw me; yes they heard me. NOTHING!!!!

Meanwhile, the ranch manager lady at Escalante Ranch just so happened to be outside BEHIND the horse stable (approximately 300 YARDS through the trees on land) attending to her horses and heard my screams and whistle. Her horses, she told me, even knew there was a problem. She said she saw me in the water and the raft behind me and just assumed they would get me but noticed that they were not attempting a rescue. Meanwhile, I must have swam about a 1/2 mile in the middle of the whitewater, having my eye on Griff's raft and the left shore. I even screamed, "I DON'T WANNA DIE OUT HERE!!!! HELP!!!!"

I was in the water for about 10-15 minutes when I was able to grab a strong branch on shore (I have no clue how I was able to drag my upside down boat and paddle to the shore) and I wasn't even out of the water when out of nowhere, they lady comes up and asked if I needed any help. I was shivering nearly uncontrollably. Griff and his girlfriend floated right on by in the middle the river WITHOUT STOPPING and I barely heard something come out of his mouth which said, "DRY OUT" (or something like that).

The ranch lady and I walked my boat back to the horse stable where he gave me some warm clothes, iced tea and I was at the ranch for about 3 hours waiting for her husband to get back from work to take me to the take-out where my car was. THANKFULLY, my keys were in a zipped pocket of my dry pants, along with my 15-foot NRS straps. However, my 3 drybags and cooler were on Griff's boat. Early that evening, we drove around Dominguz Canyon looking for them at camp. They dropped me off at the take-out and I drove straight to the Delta County Sheriff's office where I talked to a wonderful deputy about the whole thing. My goal was to get in contact with a BLM law enforcement officer patrolling the river to me up with these assholes to get my stuff with charges of criminal negligence.

The sheriff's deputy got a hold of one who told me that he didn't think there was a law that requires members of your boat party to attempt a rescue and they are not required to do so. I stayed in a motel in Montrose (rolling in around 12:30am). The motel lady gave me some clothes. I went to the BLM office in Montrose to report the incident and they KICKED ME OUTTA THERE!!!!

This experience taught me to no longer trust people anymore. I know have grave fear of the river and I may even give up kayaking for good. I'm in the process of staring up a on-line interactive newspaper called (it's on the web now; you just can't Google it yet but you can type it in on your address bar; will be advertising it in the local community in the very near future). I also want to add that Griff NEVER signed in at the put-in. He was the organizer of this trip. I'm also having second thoughts about requiring permits for certain sections of rivers. I'd like to see a law requiring head members of boat trips to attempt rescues of it's own members if they see them in trouble.

Thank you for letting me share.
In life, like the river, you meet all kinds of people. I'm truly sorry you had a bad experience, but like some respondents here, I am dead set against any sort of requirement (legistation etc.) for rescue. I would have paid attention and rescued you- but it wouldn't (and shouldn't) have been a responsibility. It would have been what some of us do because we care, we are aware, and we can. And yes, I've seen some 'rescues' turn into disasters. I hope you can come to terms with this in time and view it as a learning experience. On a different note, my Selway group just got off the Middlefork at 8.3 feet and they're OK. We know you are not 'supposed' to run the Middlefork at this level, but it's a priviledge that few will ever know. And it was a fairly tight knit group of rafters and kayakers. The kayakers hang with the kayakers. The rafters hang with the rafters. Not because they are incompatible as people- but rather as someone said here the boats aren't compatible. Another thing that I always stress to newbies in any sort of craft is that they stay upstream of me- so that they'wash into my raft when in trouble. My nephew (in a kayak) swam all of Goat Creek rapid on the Selway because he got ahead of me and hard as I tried I could not cath him. He was rescued after a long swim by a kayaker. I asked him to pick who he wanted to run with and stick with that group. from there on out.If 'Griff' had never run with kayakers he wouldn't know this stuff. I'm not sure why he didn't respond though.

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Old 05-22-2008   #113
aka The Curmudgeon
captishmael's Avatar
Hopelessly Stuck in Yesterday, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1994
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 322
Rangers and Rules and Regs! Oh My!

Whadya say, the next neonazi that proposes another stretch of water becomes regulated/permitted/patrolled gets subjected to 3 consecutive check-ins with Ranger Tim at Westwater, or has to apply thru Judy -and only Judy- at Dino?
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Old 05-22-2008   #114
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Local, Colorado
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 344
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Originally Posted by caverdan View Post
How did the OP.........yakgirl101.........change his/her/it's name to...............Withdrawn1.............this place gets stranger by the day.

Why did the man cross the road??????

Because he was stuck in the chicken!!
No! It's supposed to be:
Why'd the baby cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken!

Sorry - I just wanted to be the 113th post on this thread.
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Old 05-22-2008   #115
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by TimWalker View Post
You've all been duped! This is obviously a brilliant approach by the almost deceased to direct traffic to her ezine website. Brilliant!!!
Earlier I said it was all made up and she responded by writing: "Phuck U."

But she used the standard spellling.

My feelings were hurt real bad.
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Old 05-22-2008   #116
Vail, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2007
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by doublet View Post
Hey litigious swimmer - maybe you could take all the great advice from this column and make it into a blog post for It could be titled something like "When you're about to die drop your heavy, waterlogged vessel and swim your ass to shore".
(I can't believe I'm caving into the temptation to be naughty - but here goes anyway!)
My favorite experienced boater part - is she got to shore and her kayak was still upside down... THAT'LL help with the float!
Just hit it straight & hit it hard ~
'Cuz that which doesn't kill us - makes us stronger...
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Old 05-22-2008   #117
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by Ice Water View Post
(I can't believe I'm caving into the temptation to be naughty - but here goes anyway!)
My favorite experienced boater part - is she got to shore and her kayak was still upside down... THAT'LL help with the float!
I can't stop either.
I was quite impressed that not only was she sporting car keys, but she had a PAIR of "15-foot NRS straps" in her dry pants. THAT'll help with the swimming!
Anyone else note that that Shlitz'd Grif was BEHIND her when she pulled herself out of the river. She watched them float by and holler "DRY OUT." So they were behind her. They hadn't left her. They were maybe trying to catch her but it's hard to paddle hard when you're busting your gut because some freaking out swimmer won't stop BLOWING HER WHISTLE. man do I love that part.
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Old 05-22-2008   #118
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Aurora, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2000
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 453
Can't help myself!

Ok, I've resisted for a long time.
This is the best entertainment I've had in a long time! It's like a freekin' soap opera! I came home and had to see what was being said about this chica on the buzz. Awesome!
Anyway, I would like to ask her: Is this some crazy stunt to get publicity for your site? If so, what in the world is great about it? Please tell me because you've now got all of our attention.
No way this is real. From the sound of it, you've been boating for a while and you would know that it's completely insane.
Unless.....your "years of rafting experience" are actually once a year commercial trips down Brown's.
If you just want people to check out your site, there are easier ways to go about it. However, this made my work day go by quickly, so thanks.
Happy boating, and I really hope I don't have to listen to that whistle and throw you a turkey leg. That would be a waste of a good turkey leg.

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Old 05-23-2008   #119
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Vail, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1978
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 50
"You should probably pack up and go back to Wisconsin, where the water is much calmer and the people are used to needing babysitting. Colorado, and especially Gunnison and CB, are far too hardcore for the likes of your whiney-ass!"

HOLD IT!!!!!!! You've crossed the line now buster. Keep Wisconsin out of it. The Packers kicked the Broncos ass last October if I remember right. YakGirl sounds more like she is a F.I.B. or a 212 cr*ck than a cheese head. If she were a cheese head she would have shot the Schlitz can out of that S.O.B.'s hand while swimming her boat, paddle, and a Minnesotan to shore on her back while whistling 'The Beer Barrel Polka' with that whistle that is permanently stuck in her mouth.........

Bonus prize--a free, warm, old Schlitz for anyone out there who knows what a FIB or 212 are......
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Old 05-23-2008   #120
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Durango, Colorado
Paddling Since: 06
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 450
Originally Posted by tboe101 View Post
"Bonus prize--a free, warm, old Schlitz for anyone out there who knows what a FIB or 212 are......
No poaching this thread! This is serious shit...the only beer that gets flung around here is straight into this bitch's booty!

I've never boated before, but I have posted a lot on Mountain Buzz!
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