Originally Posted by lhowemt
OK, there are kids involved, correct? So going on the statistics (and my own personal experience) being how women do a substantially greater share of work around the house which includes inventorying, planning, shopping, and then the actual work at the house, it may be beneficial to you to make sure that you are doing your share, at a minimum, in HER eyes. With kids, she's (again I'm assuming) doing the majority of the work so you going off boating may just seem like her getting left with the kids yet again. Have you sat down with her and discussed the distribution of labor and responsibilities? Do you make sure to take some time to take the kids so she can go run off with girlfriends or just get errands done without also being a "mom"? How about planning (yes, planning is a lot of work) babysitters so you two can go do fun stuff that does not include managing the kids? Now I am not accusing you of anything, just talking about a lot of issues that friends with kids have that may be useful to think about. Doing your share of "guys" chores may not be enough. Do you clean the toilet AND the wall next to it? If she feels like she's getting left behind to yet again babysit (although a mom would never say that, it can feel like it) I wouldn't be surprised at all at her reaction.
You hit pretty much every nail on the head. I got in 48 days in '04 and almost got divorced. It wasn't the boating. It was my attitude and my participation around the house.
I did take a break from boating (visible to my wife) so she could see that I was more committed to the family. We also bought a 2nd raft and I took them out on a lot more Class I-II stuff. I'd rather raft with my family than kayak with the crew...even though I love kayaking a lot more than rafting.
I clean the kitchen (and not just the dishes) and now vacuum...including the edge of teh walls where the dog hair accumulates. Chicks notice those messy parts, and I guess it's good karma if guys clean there where we wouldn't if we lived solo.
I got in 35 days in '12 and things are great at home. Issues with getting time to go on the rio have nothing to do with the river.
OP, if you have no kids, Paddle Iraq has your advice.