Boating Rationale - Page 2 - Mountain Buzz

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Old 02-11-2013   #11
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2010
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 265
Take up heroin. Once she realizes how expensive and destructive THAT hobby is, she'll welcome your boating.

Seriously have to have an escape or something that keeps you fit, physically and mentally. If she can't understand that, no amount of ass-kissing will help the situation--just do your thing.

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Old 02-11-2013   #12
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,156
Thank you for reminding me why I am single!

I never need permission to go have fun.
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Old 02-11-2013   #13
Fort Collins, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1999
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 104
While I love to boat, I was never going to be as good/daring as my ex. (No - it's not at all the reason we split).

I really liked when he involved and appreciated me going along to run shuttle and the others boating were appreciative too. (It's important here not to be condescending and make shuttle bunny jokes, but to be appreciative of her trying to involve herself with you and your sport). It gave me a chance to hang out with him/them while driving out to the run and afterwards for beer/dinner. While they boated I often had fun driving around on back roads or hiking and throwing the ball for the dogs.

And I would get many marriage proposals if I showed up with booze or hot soup (depending on the day) at the take out.
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Old 02-11-2013   #14
dirtbagkayaker's Avatar
Bazzaro, World
Paddling Since: 2020
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,406
Originally Posted by Gnome79 View Post
I bought her a ducky when we first started dating and she seemed really into it. I've now realized that was just a front. .
You and I have the same wife. It will get better. Just plan your trips in advance. It takes alot of work to give you the silent treatment for two weeks or 6 months. Invite her and be pleasent when she says no. Plan summer short trips on easy water that you can both enjoy. Or just go to a beach or swimming hole more often. Everyone likes rafting, we just sometimes forget.

Just say.

"I really want to go float the Owyhee in march with my friends. We are hoping to leave on 3/3 and we'll be in a week, How does that work?" Then ask: "Would you like to go?" Then just follow through. Have a plan before you ask so she can get some answers. Don't leave her hanging.

Its just a matter of time before she starts boating again. It took my wife 10 years to warm back up to floating.
Every road leads to MGTOW or death.
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Old 02-11-2013   #15
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 118
Alot of helpful answers, eh my friend. You have handled this so well and given her total respect in the process. It's not like you're this irresponsible asshole. You are asking for some time and space once every couple of weeks and shouldn't have to come home to a cold shoulder every time you go. However, if that's the case just live with it and keep going . Eventually she'll figure out that is part of who you are. I should have stayed out of this but I don't want to lose a good paddling buddy
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Old 02-11-2013   #16
glenn's Avatar
BZN, Montana
Paddling Since: 2008
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,489
Why is there friction? Thought of you getting hurt/killed? Lack of family time? Come home drunk/high? Don't know when you are coming home, can't get in touch while gone?
The sunshine walked beside her
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Old 02-11-2013   #17
lhowemt's Avatar
at my house, Montana
Paddling Since: 2020
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,421
OK, there are kids involved, correct? So going on the statistics (and my own personal experience) being how women do a substantially greater share of work around the house which includes inventorying, planning, shopping, and then the actual work at the house, it may be beneficial to you to make sure that you are doing your share, at a minimum, in HER eyes. With kids, she's (again I'm assuming) doing the majority of the work so you going off boating may just seem like her getting left with the kids yet again. Have you sat down with her and discussed the distribution of labor and responsibilities? Do you make sure to take some time to take the kids so she can go run off with girlfriends or just get errands done without also being a "mom"? How about planning (yes, planning is a lot of work) babysitters so you two can go do fun stuff that does not include managing the kids? Now I am not accusing you of anything, just talking about a lot of issues that friends with kids have that may be useful to think about. Doing your share of "guys" chores may not be enough. Do you clean the toilet AND the wall next to it? If she feels like she's getting left behind to yet again babysit (although a mom would never say that, it can feel like it) I wouldn't be surprised at all at her reaction.

Lot of good advice from others also, so I'll just stick to this aspect of this.
I am a river, babe - I've got plenty of time, I don't know where I'm going, I'm just following the lines..... - "We are water" by Shaye
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Old 02-11-2013   #18
Pugetopolis, Washington
Paddling Since: 96
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 767
She needs to be a bit more understanding. Tell her it's Boating or strip-clubs

You can't even begin to fathom how many titty bars there are in Stumptown...
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Old 02-11-2013   #19
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 770
you can't say, "There's only water 3 months a year!" Like we can here in Colorado
I have used this one a lot. Unfortunately, my wife realized that this year I started boating in March and got out a couple times in October and November. So this argument might not work anymore.
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Old 02-11-2013   #20
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2010
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 265
Originally Posted by suzpollon View Post
And I would get many marriage proposals if I showed up with booze or hot soup (depending on the day) at the take out.
THIS right ice cold beer awaits me after EVERY trip!

Miss FXR--while not her favorite thing--enjoys running shuttle. She's done this for our dirt bike multi-day trips and kayaking trips. Prior to the trip though, I make sure she has a nice hotel to stay in and plenty of area activities to go to /see, including spa/massage days, shopping trips, etc. You'd be surprised at how 'involved' your S/O can become!
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