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Old 08-14-2011   #21
JCKeck1's Avatar
Seattle, Washington
Paddling Since: 1999
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,471
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Finally my moment to gloat has come! After missing almost all of this epic season in CO, I can honestly say that I have better things to do than backdoor bumper boating down the gnarrows at 1.5 with you fools....I'm on my way to boof the Green! And I'll be doing that for the next 8 months until you suckers in CO can finally go kayaking again.

But if I were to show, I would clearly win because:
-Tom's poor river karma due to years worth of shit talking and downgrading rivers such as NSV and USB would finally catch up him as his monkey back hairs catch on the blast rock forcing a swim.
-Kyle will likely have too much muscle strain from flat water paddling during his last epic 8-day class III adventure.
-I heard Alex was interested in competing in the new portage-option division this year, but I suspect his knee will slow that down a bit.
-Which pretty much leaves me and Evan, who is clearly faster and on home territory. However, I expect him to have problems finding a babysitter because the Steamboat guys coming down will likely occupy all the 15-17 year old girls in the Fort.
- Leif again returns to the race as Slave river play boating champion!
- The French just aren't fast, they can't even win their own damn bike race.
- Gary is clearly too busy with his rigorous golf schedule to show up.
- Only a true Mank master could style those lines at 1.5!

Have fun boys! I definitely wish I was there this season, but I'll see you out east.

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Old 08-14-2011   #22
Arkansas during the off-season Nomadic during the summers! :), Arkansas & Colorado
Paddling Since: 2006
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 945
Originally Posted by funkins View Post
Now Gannon is talking shit from Arkansas. This thread has reached a new all-time low.

Ummm you know how boring the ACC message board is compared to the buzz! I'm just trying to paddle vicariously through posting on the buzz (which has been proven to make you a better paddler). It's dry as desert here and rockport is the only thing running and only on the weekends.

FYI have you seen the thread on cement in richland? Apparently some ACC members may have taken some concrete to the roadblock rapid undercut.

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Old 08-14-2011   #23
doesn't need a fake name
leif's Avatar
Fort Collins, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1996
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 481
Keck! Talking trash for an event you're too scared to enter. I can't believe it. Furthermore, what's this watered down clam juice you seem to be calling "trash talk"? Based on your arguments, looks like I'm the one favored to win. I may not have much experience at these weird in-between levels, but I think that my experience up here on the Slave (yes, winning. I see you've been following my blog) has gotten me in prime shape to go head to head against the only real competition: NATALIE.

Tell me though. Most of my experience on the pooter is either high water (above 5 feet) or low water (below 0 feet). You mention mank... I don't know why... will the lines be any different?
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Old 08-14-2011   #24
ski_kayak365's Avatar
Mountains on the river!!!, Idaho
Paddling Since: 2002
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 702
Ya, just how was Texas during Colorado's spanking amazing high water season anyway? I mean I'm sure you could'a got in a boat and tried out a few tornado's....
I'm in this year, what do you have to say about that??

After watching the many swims throughout baileyfest, this should be good times!
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Old 08-14-2011   #25
smauk2's Avatar
Near water (hopefully), Colorado
Paddling Since: 2008
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 770
Comon Keck your talking smack while admitting your not attending the race? Shits weak.
I'm thinking we should make the race this next Sunday.

-Leif its awesome you are winning competitions on the slave but you cant wave wheel your way to victory in the narrows.
-Evan is going to have a rough time cleaning up the narrows with his current rock bashing skills. I'm estimating he pins three times on the first lap.
-The last time I saw Cutch he was surfing at the golden play park. Not exactly top notch narrows training.
-I'm waiting for Luke to start some shit but getting him to leave wyoming is damn near impossible.
-Mike, well he will get boofed on by a girl and swim, everyone knows that.
-Nathan ran the left side of tampax during Bailey fest... I think this just disqualifies him from the race.
-If Tom comes down to race, someone will have to make sure it's not actually his paddle partner who has matching... well everything. Did you guys coordinate that shit? Its damn cute.
-YourRealDad... I saw you race last year. Impressive but if you spent less time picking that thong out of your ass you might stand a chance.

This river is my home stretch, so all of you coming from out of town, you might as well not show up. All the locals wanting to show up, you guys are just old and brittle, stay home.
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Old 08-15-2011   #26
doesn't need a fake name
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Fort Collins, Colorado
Paddling Since: 1996
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Posts: 481
Originally Posted by smauk2 View Post
-Leif it's awesome you are winning competitions on the slave but you can't wave wheel your way to victory in the narrows.
That's where you're wrong, Spencer. I'm just that fast.
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Old 08-15-2011   #27
funkins's Avatar
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Paddling Since: 2005
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 438 it going to be Sunday the 21st? Any the afterparty?
Drew J.
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Old 08-15-2011   #28
smauk2's Avatar
Near water (hopefully), Colorado
Paddling Since: 2008
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 770
Ya Sunday the 21st. I created a face book event stating it starts around 2pm, but this doesn't have to be concrete if people need to re-arrange for work and what not.

After party? I sure hope so, let the Buzzards start throwing out ideas for locations and times.
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Old 08-16-2011   #29
caspermike's Avatar
Bozeman, Montana
Paddling Since: 1999
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,507
hah you suckers had a hard enough time keeping up with me and i ran gore before the race.. shit you metrosexuals are lucky i have better things to do than play slap ass. you guys are going to get stomped specially leif and natalie you going against the 60 mile champs and i wouldnt leave woody out of the equation.. way to get it keck
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Old 08-16-2011   #30
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x, x
Paddling Since: x
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,634
This will be my first year so I am going to say,

rabble, rabble, rabble,

just in case I get destroyed. I'll talk shit later.

see you there.

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